Candy + Bagel

Responsibly Handmade Fashion by Jean Chung


10 Ways that motherhood is making me into a better person

Life ThingsJean ChungComment

10. I clean up more often - I do laundry every other day, do the dishes every night.

9. My insomnia improved - I just want to sleep, and not look at the phone.

8. Calories? what's that? I eat chocolate and ice cream without guilt. Because I am still nursing a 11 month old, 23 lbs baby, I am always hungry.

7. I am a better cook - we are doing baby-led weaning and we share food with the baby. Therefore, we cook everything baby friendly (no salt, no sugar) and we try to cook at home more often. Besides, the baby always appreciates my cooking.

6. I laugh more - Even as I am begging the baby to go take a nap in desperation, he always manages to crack me up with his wind-down routine aka he climbs up on our mattress, and purposefully fall back down to his mattress next to ours and laugh.

5. I think about mom more - I try to remember what my mom did when I did certain things. Baby is hitting milestones what seems like every other day, and I'm constantly thinking, what should I do to prevent him from killing himself but not discourage him from exploring? Although in my parenting style, my parents' style would have been too strict and too hands-on, I always wonder how they managed it without babyproofing gears, baby carriers, no fancy diaper sprayer, no teether, and still had 2 relatively healthy kids. My mom isn't here anymore so I can't ask and get the answers, but I think about her all the time and wonder if she's watching over us. 

4. Therefore, I don't sweat the small stuff anymore  - I was never the type to over-disinfect, "don't put that in your mouth" type of mom even from the beginning, but even more so now. I mean, so his clothes have some dog hair (since Candy always sneaks into our bed) and his cheek is stained from blueberries from breakfast. So what. If it's not going to hurt him physically or emotionally, I just let it pass and let him experience it. 

3. I am more aware of issues with our environment, agriculture practices, and safety - I was vegan before I got married, and always preferred organic and research a lot before I buy anything but even more so now that I have a baby to leave this place to when we get old. What kind of place will my baby grow up and live and have his own family in? Will there be a good government/economic system in place so he can live his life and protect his family without too much sacrifice? What can we do to ensure his safety? 

2. I am more spontaneous - Yes, babies thrive on routine. But, on the days when he is more energetic and curious, so much that his usual nap time routine fails over and over again, I just take him out to the park or gym or make a spontaneous trip to Disneyland (ah, yes, one of the few perks of living in Southern California). The car ride always makes him fall asleep, and we have a ton of fun, take pictures, and make memories. That S word would have not been part of my vocabulary 10~15 years ago when my religion was my organizer and my middle name was "Plan."

1. I appreciate and savor each and every moment - Sure, things COULD be better. I could have more profitable job, Candy could open the gate to the bathroom when I forget to leave it open for her so she wouldn't have to pee on our carpet, Bagel could stop counter-surfing, Baby could go to sleep whenever I tell him to, Husband could get less annoying... You get the picture. 

But as I watch my baby manically run and roll and bump into things instead of close his eyes for a nap, I think about how fast he will grow up and will always want to sleep and do things on his own without me. How Candy and Bagel might not always be here when they get old. How Husband could stop asking where everything is or can't remember what I said 2 seconds ago? <-- probably not going to happen, but I am hopeful. 

Then I will look back to now and wish we could go back in time. And wish we would've held our loved ones closer, given one more kiss,  and said more nice things. I remember this any time I feel overwhelmed and exhausted. But not going to lie, I look forward to getting few hours of me time when Baby starts going to school haha.


A beautiful thing that happened on internet this week..

Jean ChungComment

Read about it here The original title for this article was "Reddit Users Attempt to Shame Sihk Woman, Get Righteously Schooled.

I think the beauty of this story is that it doesn't stop at the woman in the picture speaking up for her faith and her choice of life; it goes on and shows that the person who posted the picture apologized to Reddit and the woman in the picture.

It's beautiful and this doesn't happen a lot on the internet.

What's more beautiful is observing my own reactions to the 1) photo, 2) the man who posted, and 3) the article itself.

I looked at the photo and my reaction was "uhhhhhhhhh?" it's a mixture of confusion and awe, perplexed by the "true identity" of the woman and which "category" I should place her in, and sincere respect for the woman who is brave enough to go out in public like this.

Prior to this article, I had no understanding whatsoever of Sihk belief system and what its followers do. It's amazing. There is always something new you learn everyday.

Then came the anger. I thought, what an asshole whoever that posted this picture for the purpose of ridiculing her on the internet. I don't pretend to know everything that goes on in the world and honestly, there are a lot that I don't really care about. I tend to think a lot of things are up to the individuals. Who am I to decide what THEIR lives should be like? It's only marginally better than ignorance; it may be worse because it could mean that I simply don't really care about the human race as a whole. I think I really do though. I just think that, everyone was born with a brain, they can think for themselves. The anger was directed at the person who posted the picture because the person needed to mind his or her own business.

I read further and oh my.. Like the writer said, something totally unexpected and miraculous happened: The original poster apologized!

I'm so glad that I came across this article this morning. I whole-heartedly agree with the writer that "my heart grew three sizes this day." It's hard to admit to the world that you were being stupid or ignorant. It's difficult to speak up for your faith, but it's just as hard to admit your flaws and learn from it. And imagine how pleased the woman in the picture must've felt after reading the apology! It just warms my heart.

By the way, I love the message on her t-shirt: Better Together.