#hmfc15 Mommy & Me matching outfits

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I have been a horrible host for the Handmade Fashion Challenge.

but, before I left for Korea, I managed to sew something for me and my baby from the wrap I DIY'd when Logan was just a tiny baby and it was still 90 degrees in March. Now that this baby is almost 20 lbs, I can no longer wear him in a stretchy wrap but why would I let this beautiful bamboo blend fabric go to waste? 

First, my tee. The tee pattern is very simple, and I tried to modify the pattern to do a v-neck. The neck binding came out kind of funky so I refinished it by handsewing. Does anyone have a good tutorial for v-neck binding?

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And the baby's romper came out so awesom! The bamboo fabric really keeps him cool and it came in handy in Korea. Everything we had brought from the States was useless because even the sleeveless ones were too thick! We bought a ton of thin, cotton and bamboo blends while we were in Korea but this handmade baby stayed. :)

With just over a month left of the Challenge, I might have to re evaluate my goals. I definitely won't have enough time for my original plans that included knits and crochet projects. All sewing? Does that feel like I am cheating on knitting?

Closure

It has been almost 2 weeks since my mom passed away. 

It's so hard to actually write out those words. Oddly, I think I thought that moms only die in movies or novels.. or someone else's life. Even with cancer, my mom was going to live forever. Even when she was barely responding to us and was on morphine, I had a mother. 

The day we went to the church with her casket, it finally felt so final. Even during the 3-day Korean funeral, I didn't cry that much. I was numb and confused. But in that church, in the Baby room with Logan, it felt final. The music, the priest, my husband carrying my mom's portrait...  

My sister and I spent few days cleaning up the house, making several piles. One pile to keep, one pile to take with me, another pile to recycle or throw away. 

I took her vintage mink coat. Yes, as an animal welfare activity, it was so wrong... But I remember her wearing it often during the cold winter season in Korea. She never wore it in California but in my memory, she was beautiful in it. So I took him home with me. 

I also took her sewing machine and sewing notions. I wrapped her sewing machine in a bubble wrap, put it in a small luggage (thank God they let Logan check in a small baggage!). I went through her sewing cabinets and took what I could keep. I didn't take any of the threads because they were so old and SO MANY. But I kept buttons (SO MANY) and some appliques. And lots of bobbins.

We also went through her jewelry and I kept many of her beautiful jewelry, including her wedding ring. My mom wore hers on her pinky because it was sized wrong and we have the same size fingers so I also wear it on my pinky next to my wedding band.  

I'm wearing her clothes, and her earrings, and her hat. The more days goes by, the more I am used to missing her and just remembering her in my memory. I am thinking to use hers instead of mine? We have exactly the same machine because she bought my machine for my wedding present and bought herself the same one and took it to Korea... In a way, I want to sell it and use the money to buy a cover stitch machine. Then again, I don't want to sell it because it's my mom's. It was. 

Anyway, these are all the new additions to my sewing cabinet. 

Mom's fabric shears, bobbins, and sewing notions.

Mom's fabric shears, bobbins, and sewing notions.

{Life Things} emergency trip to Korea

Every year, I travel to Korea to see my mom. A year after my hubby and I got married, my mom was diagnosed with stage 2 breast cancer, and had a surgery, but it came back 2 years ago and had metastasized. 

 

While I was in 35 or some weeks pregnant with Logan, I heard from my sister that mom's condition suddenly worsened and was admitted. I saw her 10 weeks before that and she was so vibrant and healthy that I just couldnt believe that she only had a month to live, a couple of months at best.  I was not allowed to fly at that poi t so i even thought of possibility that mom not being able to see Logan. Miraculously, her new chemo drugs worked and she was able to come home. 

 

And then in the first week of July, she was transferred back to the hospital in an ambulance. This happened merely 5 days after we had a basically totally normal conversation online about Logan and possible move cross country, etc.

 

So as soon as my husband's parents left after a (unexpectedly) long stay, and Logan got the second round of vaccination, we flew here. On the day we arrived, I hardly recognized her. I wasn't even sure she could recognize me. When she took a look at me, Logan and my husband, she quickly turned her head away. My dad was with her and he was trying to feed her some porridge and she was refusing it because she was in pain. 

 

The hospital didnt want to discharge her because she was admitted on a favor from one of my uncles who knew someone on the board. So the doctor was reluctant even to tell us that there was nothing he could do. Finally when we consulted with pallative care department, they helped us talk to the doctors and arranged her to come home for the weekend before we can secure a spot at the Catholic hospice care near home, which happened to be the best in the country.  We were lucky to have a spot open for her right away but she still had to wait until Monday. So Saturday and Sunday, she was with us at home.

 

At first, she was in a better mood and she even recognized Logan and chuckled for a second. Then she quickly looked away and looked out of it. She kept repeating this process of going in and out of consciousness even when she was awake. Sunday night before we transferred her to the hospice was the worst. She refused to eat or drink for 2 days so she was tired but couldnt even tell us where the pain was. she was wearing a pain killer patch but she refused to take the extra ones we offered her. We just had to hold her hands and hope that the morning comes soon. 

 

We are now taking day by day, watching her condition closely. Things are constantly changing--our emotions, her condition... Husband went home for work and the doggies but will have to fly back this weekend because the doc said it was time. 

 

Sigh.